Chocolate, coffee and wine (chardonnay just made for a nice alliteration!) are a part of the deliciousness of our modern lives. The melt-in-your-mouth sweet sensation of chocolate has been described as better than sex, whilst the strong aroma of freshly ground coffee beans helps awakens the senses of a new day. And what better way to wind down in the evening with a glass of fine wine to accompany dinner?

Ahhhh… the good life!

But what if these modern-life treats become your way of coping with life? Or if they become your personal battleground of will power? Like a promise you make to yourself that you’ll only have 1 ‘row’ of the chocolate bar that’s stashed in the fridge, or only have 1 cup of coffee in the morning, and definitely no wine on a
work-day night. But on a ‘bad’ day the entire chocolate bar is wolfed down, and you needed another coffee to simply get through the day, and at home, well, no-one will know you had a glass of wine from the wine box in the fridge –will they? Apart from you do know.

If you are concerned about how much you are indulging, or that you are using these treats to cope – then please read on. And if this isn’t something that troubles you at all, then do continue to enjoy them!

Why do we eat or drink more than we want to?

It’s not as if we don’t know what we are doing when we over indulge, but the reasons why we do it are often baffling to us. Why do we break our own promises/intentions? Are we just weak willed? When does our behaviour or the amount we are eating or drinking become an addiction? How can we change our habits? Let me share with you a few of the things I have come to know about this.

Chocolate – comfort eating and feeling good

Stories of how chocolate makes people feel better have been surprisingly well researched by scientists. It is known that eating chocolate releases endorphins into the bloodstream, which helps you feel happier and more tolerant of pain. It also increases serotonin levels in the brain, which improves your mood. But none of the active ingredients are strong enough to cause addiction (which, by the way, is medically defined as: persistent, compulsive dependence on a substance which produces a rapid, intense change in mood and painful withdrawal symptoms when stopped suddenly). Chocoholics will say this can’t be true: it is addictive! What scientists think is happening is the memories of feeling better after eating chocolate is what causes the craving rather than the chemical changes in the body. So when you are feeling low, stressed, vulnerable or lacking in self-esteem, the subconscious remembers chocolate makes you feel better about yourself, which initiates the desire and craving for chocolate. However, the good feelings that come from eating chocolate often don’t last very long. If you eat lots of chocolate in one go, it can make you feel physically sick, dizzy from the sugar rush and even guilty about how much you have eaten, which can then make you
feel even worse than ever.

So what can you do differently? If your preference is for milk chocolate, consider switching to chocolate that has a 70% or higher cocoa content. The intensity of the taste satisfies the feeling-good factor in smaller quantities and therefore reduces the desire to gorge on it. The desire for chocolate might also be because you are hungry. This may sound a strange thing to say, but most people skip or have a carbohydrate rich breakfast followed by sandwiches ‘on-the-run’ for lunch. In this case, mid afternoon blues may simply be your body telling you it’s feeling under nourished and so your desire for chocolate is increased. If this is true for you, try modifying your diet to include more protein at breakfast (for example include eggs, yoghurt, porridge, nuts and seeds, ham, or lean bacon) and, if you can, switch your main meal to lunchtime rather than for dinner. And then see what happens when you do. Self-awareness is a key to making changes that work for you.

If you are eating chocolate to avoid dealing with your emotions, tonight give yourself 10 minutes of real peace-and-quiet – no kids, TV, music or any other distraction – and check-in with yourself. How are you REALLY feeling? How long have you felt like this? Ifthe emotions that come up are anger, sadness, vulnerability, loneliness or depression – have you spoken to anyone about it – your partner or best friend? Or to a professional? Has been going on for a while? How long is it OK with you to keep living like this?

If your emotions are slightly awry, a gentle solution are the Bach Flower Remedies. Please read the guidelines (in Boots there is a flipchart next to the remedies) before you buy them. I have found that Crab Apple subtly changes the energy of self-esteem, whilst Agrimony helps with sadness and Mustard helps counter addictive behaviours. If the emotional upset is deeper, then know there are lots of people who can help you: coaches, EFT practitioners, hypnotherapists, acupuncturists and counselors. Stuffing your emotions inside – eating chocolate instead of dealing with them – can have a terrible impact on your long-term well-being and health.

Coffee – staying awake and alerth

I have never drunk coffee so the aroma and taste that most people love are alien to me. But I do know what it is like to use caffeine to help you keep going: to feel that without it, you’ll just never get through the day. As wonderful as the taste and aroma is for coffee lovers, when you become concerned, it’s about the effects of caffeine, not the taste or flavour that’s at the heart of it.

Caffeine is a powerful drug. It instantly affects the mind and body. It makes you more alert, banishes fatigue and gives you a boost both mentally and physically to carry-on when you are weary to the bone. But there can be some big downsides too. Caffeine tolerance varies tremendously. For some people ‘too much’ is 2 cups of instant coffee a day, whilst for others it may take 6 cups or more to have adverse effects. Note too that freshly ground and Expresso coffees have higher caffeine levels. Caffeine stimulates the heart and increases blood pressure, which can cause palpitations, shaking hands and dizziness. It increases stomach acid and disrupts digestion and may make you suffer with diarrhea, too much gas and in some people it can lead to weight gain. The adrenal glands (which release stress hormones) and the pancreas (produces insulin) start working in overdrive, which can lead to chromic fatigue. It is this weariness, exhaustion that can sometimes trigger drinking even more coffee, because you don’t know how to get through without it, but it is actually making matters worse.

What to do if you’re concerned? If you really want to see what it’s like to experience yourself without caffeine, then you need to take a break from it: I suggest 30 days to fully see what it’s like. Stopping can give unpleasant withdrawal symptoms such as headaches, nausea and sometimes even a mild flu. So, if you decide to do this, choose a time when you can cope with a couple of days of feeling pretty awful. It usually takes 2–5 days to complete clear your body of the effects of caffeine. If stopping altogether doesn’t feel like an option for you, consider switching to a decaffeinated coffee (perhaps mixing regular with decaffeinated initially to lessen the withdrawal symptoms) or herbal teas or Rooibosh. Again try it for a whole month and notice what difference it makes to your sleep / tiredness / other symptoms. If they
persist, then consider other dietary actions (see the book: “Spent: End exhaustion and feel great again”) or it may be time to visit your doctor.

Wine – deadening the pain

Two years ago, I stopped drinking alcohol. My body was no longer tolerating it: one small glass of wine was giving me an awful hangover. Now it seems natural that I don’t drink, but in the first few weeks of abstinence I noticed just how much society wants you to drink. It seems people feel uncomfortable if you’re not drinking when they are.

Wine in moderation has good health-giving properties. It helps you relax and red wine has good amounts of iron and anti-oxidants, which can help prevent heart disease and improve blood circulation. But through my work I’ve become aware how often people pour themselves ‘a glass or two’ at the end of the day and through my daughters eyes I see how many youngsters choose to ‘get drunk’ when going out. The amount of wine and other alcohol being consumed is, in my mind, a worrying trend. Mostly because it is being used as a coping mechanism. People feel the need to drink it to relax after a stressful day: they drink not to savour the taste on the palette but rather to feel the effects of alcohol deaden their pain. And by pain I include stress, anger, vulnerability, sadness and loneliness. It is a sad reflection on our society that so many people are so stressed, unhappy and lonely that they turn to wine to cope, to get by, to get through.

How much wine is OK? All wines list their alcohol content as a percentage or ABV (alcohol by volume). For white wines this typically between 9–11%, whilst reds are usually 11–15%. The Government recommends that women have no more than 2–3 units a day, whilst for men it’s 3–4. One unit equals 10 ml of pure alcohol – the amount the body can process in one hour. So, how do you calculate how many units your glass of wine contains? Take the alcohol strength (% or ABV) x volume (ml) ÷ 1,000 = no. of units. So if your wine is 11% and your glass is 175 ml then 1 glass is 1.9 units (11 x 175 = 1925 ÷ 1,000 = 1.925 units). If you are out, and order a large glass this is frequently 250 ml, and if you choose a red wine, it’s usually at least 12%. One large glass of red wine could easily equal 3 units! It’s easy then to see how you can go over the recommended amounts without even realizing that you are doing so.

What to do if you are way over your units? How much are you going over by? There is a quick calculator for your favourite wines and drinks on www.drinkaware.co.uk and masses of useful information on drinking with care. Two quick things to consider: how does your daily amount reconcile with your weekly amount? It’s better for the body with little and often rather than binge-drinking all of your units over the weekend. And what is your body type? The alcohol units are based on the average sized man and woman. Tiny, petite women many be on the edge at the lower level recommended for women, whilst very tall, robust men may be OK very slightly over the higher amount for men – not that I would recommend this!

If you just want to get back into a happy-social wine drinking level that feels good for you, again, I would recommend that you take a break from all alcohol for a month to give your body and liver a break. You may wish to also the supplement Milk Thistle whilst you do so will help detoxify your liver (check with your doctor if you are taking any medicines). After such a break, you can choose what your new drinking habits will
be. If you need help to do this, coaching, EFT and hypnotherapy can help you change your habits around alcohol. If it’s more serious than this, then please consider the help offered by the AA. Their website is www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk has lots of valuable information and how to take the next steps in getting help.

…and finally

Remember chocolate, coffee and wine are lovely treats in our lives. For most people they can remain so without you ‘needing’ them to cope. I wish that for all of you – enjoyment of life’s goodies! However, if you need some help, then I am here to ‘walk’ with you for a while using coaching, EFT or Empathic Healing to help you navigate this part of your journey. Call me on 01305 821799 or email jennie@reddandelion.co.uk to find out more, or to book a 55 minute trial telephone session. If you would like to receive Tips like this via email, along with special offers, a book review and snippets of relevant information, please sign-up at the top of this page.