We are living in a time where almost everyone has a degree of worry. There are few amongst us who have reached the enlightened, unattached, truly-accepting-of-what-is state of being. The Credit Crunch is, with varying intensity, impacting on everyone. I suspect that like me, you sense there is more than we are being told. Not in a conspiracy theory, cover-up way, just that trying to explain just how much the banks are truly indebted, how the financial situation in one country is heavily dependent on another and how much Governments are depending on credit being restored, is extremely complex. Change in one country, or on the stock markets, can have a domino effect changing the picture from one day to the next. However, we all know the financial crisis is very serious. The world has never faced anything like this. Not even the so-called experts really know how to pull us out of this mire and it could easily be another 12 months before we bottom-out of this mess let alone begin to recover.

Where does that leave you and I? Increasing numbers of people are really worried. They worry about their jobs, their ability to keep paying their mortgages, negative equity, credit card debt to name a few of the main concerns. But is the worry itself helping or hindering you? Let me begin by asking you to assess the level of worry you are experiencing just now. If you were to give it a score, where 10 is the most intense worry imaginable and 1 is very mild concern, where would you put yourself?

Can I ask you, just for a moment, to consider worry as a separate set of thoughts from others – for example, something I call ‘clear’ thinking. I want to show you that whilst it is very important not to bury your head in the sand, worrying, as a state of thinking, like panic, is not helpful to surviving and doing well during this time. Lets me explain what I understand about worry, it’s negative impacts on your well-being and how to manage your worry levels.

I see worry as a set of thoughts that arise from being scared. Even though many adults resist admitting to being scared, we are all fearful of some things. Fear is natural human emotion. It’s role is to keep us safe – and so as long as it doesn’t take over our lives, it’s a healthy reaction. But worry is usually not about keeping us safe in the present moment, it’s a series of fearful thoughts about what may happen in the future. And this is key to managing your worry: no matter what you think will happen, no-one can predict exactly what will happen in any given situation. And, worrying about the unknown is always far more scary than dealing with the reality of any situation.

Lets look at this some more. Worry frequently begins with a, “What if…” fearful thought. Because you don’t know the answer, your imagination provides a series of answers, often painting worst-case scenarios vividly in your mind. Worry in this way can easily escalate to include multiple, horrible outcomes. Worry at this point, can take you to a point of overwhelm, which in turn has a paralyzing impact on your ability to act in your best interests.

Worrying can have a detrimental impact on your life. To show you how this works, let me invent Tom – an employee of a designer clothes shop. Tom knows other designer brand shops have gone bankrupt. Some of his friends have been made redundant. He is extremely worried that his shop will be next. He worries that there don’t seem to be as many people coming into the shop as before. He worries that his manager looks worried. He worries that he won’t be able to get another job if the shop goes to the wall. He worries that he won’t be able to pay the mortgage. He worries that he will end up living on the street. He worries so much he isn’t sleeping at night. He worries his wife will leave him because he is jobless. He worries so much it is literally making him feel ill. He worries so much his mind can’t concentrate on anything else. The worry is totally overwhelming and it’s genuinely very hard for him to do anything.

This is a real and scary situation facing many people in the retail sector. But can you see that in this scenario, Tom has not been thinking clearly? He has been worrying about something that hasn’t yet happened. His worried face is probably not helping sales either – but lets leave that angle for now. Tom’s shop could be the next one fold. And, if all he is doing is worrying without applying clear thinking, then he will not in a very good place to meet the challenge of being made redundant.

Now imagine Tom switching from worrying to clear thinking. Now he can start asking himself a whole different set of questions, along the lines of: If I am about to be made redundant, is my CV up to-date? As the retail sector is not in very good shape and there will be lots of competition for jobs: do I have other skills that I could offer to another employer? If I lose my job, what is the minimum income I need to cover the bare basics to live? What am I willing and not willing to do job wise? Can we let out our spare room? Can I sell my car? What other ways can I increase my income? Can I freeze any of my outgoings – like my pension contributions? What other ways can I reduce my expenditure?

Do you see the difference? The situation is the same. The threat of redundancy has not gone away, but worrying alone doesn’t help Tom. It just sends his stress levels through the ceiling. If Tom uses clear thinking to weigh up options and seek alternative solutions it puts him in a much better position. It keeps Tom in the real world as to what is happening now, and being ready as opposed to worrying about everything and then only dealing with things after the event.

Tom in my story is painted as 2 dimensional man full only of worry. In real life someone in his shoes will (I hope) have considered some of the options with clear thinking. However, I am noticing that people are spending masses of energy on worry and I wanted to highlight this.

What if the worst case scenario has or is about to happen?

Again, please be aware of the negativity of the process of worry. When you allow worry to take over, I know how deliberating it can be. Step into your analytical thinking mind. Ask yourself, “Who needs to know of your impending change of status?” If you have a mortgage, talk to the Mortgage Lender before you get into arrears. You may be able to switch to interest only payments, or take a brief mortgage payment holiday. If you wait until you are several months in arrears, the lender is going to be far less sympathetic to you than if you approach them early together with a plan of what you are doing to put things right.

Tell your friends and family what has happened. Ask them for help or if they know someone who can help. Everyone has a circle of at least 200 people they know. Asking 10 friends, means you are reaching out to 2,000 people. One of those people will have an answer, solution or idea to help you.

In times of recession, there are market sectors who actually prosper. Manufacturing companies who export their product are, with the weak pound, generally doing well. Companies who specialize in budget items/services are also generally doing well, as are companies involved in helping people with debt. Do not be sucked into the media’s obsession that everyone and every sector is doing badly. I have several business clients who are currently doing much better than they did last year.

Signs that you are worrying too much

• A lot of your thoughts are fearful and are about events that have not yet happened.
• Your thoughts go round in circles, over and over again.
• Distraction: you worry about other people instead of thinking about your own issues.
• You can’t sleep at night because your mind goes into overdrive.
• You feel overwhelmed. The overwhelm is paralyzing you and it’s hard to motivate yourself.
• You talk a lot about your worries: or conversely laugh it off pretending ‘it’s nothing’.

How to stop worrying – or at least minimize it

As with all change the first step is to become aware of what is happening to you. Bring it into consciousness. Ask yourself these questions:

• Is this worrying helping or hindering me?
• If I begin to use my thinking mind, what questions can I ask myself that might give me a different solution?
• Who can help me with this? Dont be afraid to ask for help.
• How would ……………… (insert the name of someone you admire) deal with this?

Worrying is a choice – yes, really!

I know from coaching my clients on this topic, that this idea can be hard to get your head around. But I would like you to give it try. Although it may not seem like it, nor feel like it, the thought process we call worry, is a choice. No-one can make you think, feel or do anything. Think about this for a minute. If you don’t agree with this statement, who makes you think, feel or do things? If your response is: “My partner, my family, my boss, my church etc”, think on this some more. Do they run your life? Are they inside your body? No.

Please don’t get me wrong: there are things we do, think and feel because it seems like there is no choice. In these situations, what we are really saying is saying we don’t want to deal with the consequences – usually because it is scary.

Lets go back to Tom. With impending redundancy, he may well blame the Credit Crunch, the shop owners, his manager for all of the worry he is suffering. But nothing and no-one can force Tom to worry. He chooses (albeit subconsciously) to worry instead of choosing to switch to clear thinking. I know it is not easy to make this switch, but Tom ultimately ‘chooses’ whether to whittle away his time with worry or not.

Let me leave you with a final thought: the key difference between successful people and those who are not has very, very little to do with luck, chance or lack of ‘yuk’ stuff that lands in their lap. Instead, a successful person looks at the ‘yuk’ stuff (Credit Crunch, a soured relationship, cash flow problems etc) and looks for different solutions, asks, “What can I learn from this?” and “What is the silver lining?”. Successful people refuse to allow ‘yuk stuff’ to deter them.

You can be like this too. Yes, there is a Credit Crunch. Yes, there are lots of unknowns for us all. Yes, it is a bit scary not knowing what’s going to happen. It’s not about ignoring these things. It’s about choosing what to do, be, think and feel about it. So what will you choose?

…and finally

I hope this helps ease your worrying mind. You can let of it – really! If you need a helping hand and would like to explore what it is like to be coached by me, then please call me on 01305 821799 or 0845 83 86 733 (lo call rate) or email me, jennie@reddandelion.co.uk to find out more.