Years ago, at a workshop I was attending, during the usual introductions, a young man announced his intention was to become powerful. His comment surprised me: “How arrogant!” I thought. Over the years since then, my views of what being powerful means have changed. When you step into your own power it is real force of good – for you and those in your life. It’s only when power is exerted over others, where power is used to control, that it becomes tainted and an undesirable trait.

What is stepping into your own power?

It’s when you consciously choose how to live your life, decide what you believe in, and become fully responsible for everything in your life. It’s when you choose your path and then ‘walk your talk’. Stepping into your own power is often challenging, but it’s also at the heart of true freedom.

In the film, “Spiderman”, there is a great line: “With great power comes great responsibility” And I think you can flip this statement too: being fully responsible gives you power. The problem is, that in the UK most people have unconsciously given away much of their power. My (new) clients say they can’t do this or that because they have a mortgage / bills to pay, or someone like them couldn’t do that, or they aren’t worthy of such a role / title / position. And so on. I like to ask them, who is really saying ‘no’ to these things that they want to do?

No-one else other than you resides in your body: it’s just you. You control your body and your mind – no-one else. Other people may ask you to do things. Family, friends and bosses may influence or even pressurize you to do things. Or you may feel you need to follow common ways / beliefs – but ultimately you choose whether or not it’s good and the right path for you. In cases of abuse, this may not be true – but in everyday life you can choose. And when you do, you step into your own power

I know that some of you reading this, may still be doubting this. Bear with me – lets explore this some more. Lets take a common grumble of people not liking their job, moaning about it, but doing nothing about it because, they say, they have to pay their mortgage. They have to put up with it – or so they say. But this simply isn’t true. What most people in this situation are really saying is they don’t want to deal with the consequences of their choices, and so they just grumble instead. They choose to stay powerless and stuck. No matter how currently challenging it is move home and/or job, you can still choose to take these steps. Is living in a big house, but hating the long hours you work how you choose to live your life? Is doing a job with a prestigious title, but living in town or city that you don’t like, the way you want to live your life? Choosing a job, a place to live and the people you spend your time with – matters. No matter how well intended someone else’s views are, they are not you. Only you know what is really important to you and what makes you happy. If you choose things to please others, or even your ego, (e.g. job title above all else) or if you choose not to choose, it is highly unlikely you’ll find a deep sense of happiness and contentment. We are unique. Our choices should therefore honour our uniqueness. One size does not fit all.

It begins with a choice

Sometimes when I tell people they get to choose what they want, they confuse this with thinking that all they have to do is choose. Usually it’s not that simple. But in order to create a life that is happier, better, richer, simpler, healthier or whatever it is you want, it begins with a choice. For until you know what it is you want, your chances of achieving it, are greatly diminished.

Would you like to play with this for a moment? What if you could do anything? What if there were no restrictions of time, money, connections or qualifications. What if you had no fears nor any judgment. What would you choose to do with your life? Where would you live? What would you do each day, month and year?

When I ask this question, most people give me what I call the lottery-win answer: something that sounds fabulous but not really real to them. I invite you to REALLY think about this. What do your REALLY want? For your holidays, I’m sure you consider what type of holiday you would like, where you want to go, how much it will cost, what will you do when you get there and so on. Often lots of planning goes into the 2 weeks of the year we spend on holiday. What might life look like if you focused on the other 50 weeks of the year? Packing your suitcase and turning-up randomly at an airport is unlikely to result in an ideal holiday. And yet that’s frequently what we do with our lives.

A step at a time

In my experience, people frequently can’t fully describe how they want their lives to look: if you can’t, please don’t let it stop you from beginning to do this work. After all, knowing everything might be a bit boring!

I am a great believer in anchoring the dream life in some way. What I mean by this is that when you have an idea in your head, it’s often fuzzy around the edges. In comparison when it is written down, or captured in a picture collage, or even recorded, it starts to feel more real. Having something more concrete allows your analytical mind to begin thinking / dreaming up solutions and your heart / subconscious beginning to stretch into this new life. Try not get tangled up in the ‘how to make it happen’. It’s enough initially for you to get clarity on what it is you are seeking.

Time frames

When my clients begin their coaching, they want to create big changes to their lives. This is great! And occasionally it is possible, with a little help, to make big leaps and get to this new place quickly: but more often than not, changes come about with small steps in the right direction. In your life what is the first step can you take?

For the really big dreams that will take a long time to bring about, putting a time-frame in place is a double-edged sword. For some people who are naturally target driven, this will be motivating. But if, despite lots of effort, it doesn’t happen, it can be demoralizing. However, putting a time frame for the smaller steps helps you move forward. One of my roles with my clients is to begin our sessions asking how they have got on with their (small) steps. Individually they may not seem like much: but collectively they are. To help you be accountable, put a date in the diary by when you wish to have something done – or tell a friend – when you ‘put-it-out’ into the universe, it’s much harder to ignore!

If you wish, tell me of your choices… and I will send you an email in a few weeks time to enquire how you are getting on. Choose a great life – it is after all your choice!

…and finally

I hope this helps you see you can step into your own power: it all begins with a choice. If you need a helping hand and would like to explore what it is like to be coached by me, then please call me on 01305 821799 or 0845 83 86 733 (lo call rate) or email me, jennie@reddandelion.co.uk to find out more.