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Self Worth: Are you worthy?

I'm sitting this morning looking out over a hazy Portland Island. The sea is flat and the sun has turned it into a sheet of silver. There is just a slight chill in the air—yet it feels so wonderful to feel the sun's warmth so late in the year. I feel incredibly blessed and lucky to live here and have some many wonderful people and things in my life. Do I feel worthy of having these gifts? Yes. Am I worthy of more… aghhh, now that's not so easy to answer! What am I worthy of? How much do I deserve? Who decides?

These last two weekends I attended Michael Bradford's Intuition Mastery Classes. It was challenging, demanding and very rewarding (see www.theintuitiveadvantage.com). In the energy and soul clearing exercises Michael taps into past lives. He revealed that in one of my past lives, I was a well-known historical figure. I believe our soul comes into human existence many times over to learn and experience more things in human form. But I had never considered who I was in my past lives. I know lots of people don't believe in this—that's OK with me—and it doesn't matter who he said I was, or whether or not you believe. I want though to share with you my reaction to it because it brought up a lot of 'my stuff' and I see it a lot in my coaching, so I hope exploring it with you will be useful.

IS BEING ORDINARY OK?
We are all incredibly adept at fooling ourselves. If Michael had told me I was an ordinary man or woman – that would have been OK with me. There's part of me that wants to fit in, be the same as everyone else – ordinary. And as I write this I smile – for I can see how ironic that is: no-one is really 'ordinary'!! And, all of my life I have chosen to swim upstream. In doing so my life has been in so many ways extraordinary. I instinctively know that at this point in my life I have so much to give to and share with others. I am also a natural born leader and yet, it is oh-so-comfortable to hide behind the façade of being 'just ordinary'!!

Marianne Williamson wrote a wonderful poem that begins:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented, fabulous?

ARE YOU READY TO SHINE?
I see it’s time for me to step out my shadows and begin to shine. And as I do so, I would love for all of you to shine with me.

So, how do you feel about shining brightly? Does it scare you? Do you have limiting beliefs (like, I'm not good enough...) getting in your way? I've noticed through my coaching work that shining is one thing that collectively we're not very good at.

Several women clients I'm working with just now, all of whom I see as beautiful, fascinating women with much to give to a partner, struggle to believe they are worthy of love. They say, “It doesn't matter – I have a great job/life/family” or, “Men are looking for a woman who is slimmer/more cute/younger/less-strong than me” or, “There aren’t any man I fancy...”. And I stand with these women – because I'm still working on this one too. It's not just women who go to this place either. I have worked with men who also couldn't believe that a woman would find them handsome or desirable because the mirror did not reveal to them a Brad Pitt or George Clooney.

I work with men and women who (from the outside) look as if they have it all. They have high-powered, well-paid jobs, beautiful homes and a life-style that many would envy and yet they fear they are only there by chance. They think one day someone will find out what they fear: that they are a fraudster – that they don't really deserve these great gifts. As a result they work themselves into the ground, trying to hold it all together, hoping and praying that no one sees the cracks in their veneer.

I have clients who provide a truly wonderful service or product that people truly value – and yet they struggle so hard to charge accordingly. Again believing that they are not worthy, so their product/service isn't either and that people won't pay for it. And, yes, I stand up again with all of you who are in this place.

Job promotions, stepping into long held dreams, doing something extraordinary… I could go on, but I’m sure you get the picture. We all do this at some level. Very few people step into fulfilling their full potential in all areas of their life. Should we just accept that we are 'just ordinary' and 'more-or-less OK'? I don't think so! I believe that deep down people don’t want to give up on their dreams for it's a key reason people seek out a coach. Their soul wants them to live a life of abundance, joy and at ease with who they are. When people find me (or other coaches), it's often because they have reached a place where they have tried to do it alone, and they feel stuck.

SWITCHING TO FULL BEAM
What can you do if you see your own stuck-ness? Know firstly that it's ALL ABOUT YOU. What you believe about yourself, who you think you are, what you want to achieve, who is standing in your way – it's all you. It's so easy to blame others or circumstances, when actually we are responsible for everything in our lives – even the yuk stuff! In my work I am fortunate to witness people making incredible transformations. No matter what the transformation was about – love, career, health, money – what really changed was how they saw themselves. They started to see and believe they were worthy. And so it became true for them.

So how do you begin to shine? Know first of all YOU ARE WORTHY – of everything you dream of doing, having or being. If you worry that having it all will deprive someone else of their share, know it will not. Try this for size. If you are in excellent health, if you have an abundance of well being, are you denying someone else of their good health? No. In fact having good health enables you to help people more not less. So it is for love and wealth.

VISUALISATION
One way of moving you forward is visualization. Step into your imagination – see yourself doing, having and being everything you want. Just a few minutes spent everyday doing this is very powerful. Enhance this technique even more by 'feeling' your emotions in the visualization.

If visualization in your mind, doesn't work, try creating a picture for real. Go through magazines and find pictures of things and experiences you want to attract into your life. Cut these pictures out and create a collage of your new life. Place this picture where you see it everyday.

Or try music. Put together a collection of 'my songs' on CD or on your mp3 player to inspire you to be the best you can be. Or write affirmations and placing them where you see them every day.

If you think this all sounds daft, know that there is scientific data to prove that the mind can’t tell the difference between imaginary and real-life. Top athletes were tested when they did 'their thing'. Then they were asked to 'rerun' it in their mind. Brain activity was identical in both cases.

LOVE YOURSELF
Forgive yourself. We have all made mistakes. We have all done things that we are embarrassed or ashamed about. No one has lead a perfect life. We are human – not robots. See mistakes as learning experiences – for they are! No matter what your past held, it does not mean you are not worthy today of the best life has to offer.

…AND FINALLY
I hope this Tip inspires you to begin taking action. Share with me your thoughts on this – I love hearing from you. And if you would like help in turning your light on to full beam, then I would be delighted to become your coach.

WHAT NEXT?
Try out a coaching session! I offer a half-price try-me-out session for people who are interested in coaching. Call me on 01305 772220 or 0845 83 86 733 (lo call rate) or email me to book your session. You can pay by credit card, bank transfer or cheque.

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